Today a local man, who remains unidentified, bought what appears to be all 10,000 Cases of Lego Series 4 Collectible Minifigs allocated for North America. Sleeping in the parking lot of a local Fred Meyer distribution center for weeks he was perched at the loading dock as the truck rolled in. The man was reported to have said “I would have been at the dock but the smell of the ocean made me queasy.” according to Lego trucker Gary Martini. Martini added “I thought it was strange when he backed his minivan up to my truck, but he insisted that he had already worked out the details with the clerks at a nearby Fred Meyer retail outlet.”
Vicki Stone, Assistant Store Night Manager of the Fred Meyer in Skynomish reported that the consumer had the store clerks up all night scanning a UPC code into the Fred Meyer cash registers. “The registers won’t let you scan once and type in ‘600,000’, it’s all got to be hand scanned. Half my clerks already had arthritis and carpal tunnel and this wasn’t helping their health, but he was insistent and we do believe that the customer is always right.”
When asked by Fred Meyer staff why he needed all these minifigs the local man was reported to have said something about a massive Werewolves vs. Frankensteins battle at this year’s BrickCon Lego convention and then hastened to add that he had 4,999 friends who wanted 2 cases each. When approached by a 7 year old boy and his mother looking for a few minifigs, the man sent them to the MegaBloks display and told them to “deal with it”. Store clerks reported later that the MegaBloks display was damp from tears, but they added quickly that this was typical and likely unrelated to the massive minifig purchase. Store staff reported that the man did appear to be willing to give away as many lawn gnomes as possible and kept muttering something about “why do I need so many tiny Fishermen” and/or “what do lawn gnomes need with a fishing rod”. Apparently it was hard to tell as they were tired and he was muttering.
Danish police are investigating the matter including trying to understand why an entire continent’s supply went through one Pacific Northwest chain’s store. They’re also monitoring eBay for sales of Lawn Gnomes to try and catch the perpetrator though it remains unclear if he actually broke any laws. “Det var det nemlig den gårdsplads hen til pådømme” said Kristian Løkke Thulesen Rasmussen, Billund Police Chief.